


Children of the night

by CMDAK



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Gen, Paring hinted at, Protective Q, Vampire Q, halloween fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-16 18:21:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21275636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMDAK/pseuds/CMDAK
Summary: James gets a scolding and a shock.





	Children of the night

**Author's Note:**

> A joke about a stereotype for my countrymen and kittens brought this about. 
> 
> It's still Halloween in my mind, so Halloween fic away!

If James Bond were to make a Top 10 list of the strangest things that ever happened to him in his entire life, finding out that the Quartermaster that he was afraid to so much as flex his muscles around him in a crowded room because he might break his bones was, in fact, a pretty old vampire that rubbed elbows with Edward VIII - and whom he might have eased into the next life when he had enough of his antics - wouldn’t break that.

“You are, by far, the most immature human entrusted with the safety of a country that I have ever encountered in my long life,” Q was hissing at him, his green eyes outright glowing and his fangs peeking out from under his plump red lips as he had forgotten to act human in his anger. “I told Oliva from day one that you’d be as much of a liability to yourself as an ace up the sleeve for us but…”

James found himself unable to focus on the strict scolding he was getting, distracted even more by how his Quartermaster looked this time and finally starting to make some connections. He was so pale because he was undead, not because he replaced the warm light of the sun with the cold one given by a computer. He didn’t eat not only because he was much too busy saving everyone’s asses, but also because he didn’t need to eat - at least not the type of food that made humans plump. He was always ice cold because the only blood that ran through his veins always came from - hopefully - a blood bag that he probably had tucked in that little fridge he never managed to open no matter what he did to it.

But those answers brought with them more questions, James feeling his fixation with the Quartermaster getting bigger with each second and this time, he actually started to worry about that, especially since he thought he felt genuine fear towards the man that he had always trusted with his life and wellbeing without a second thought. And yet, his need to taste Q’s lips and to feel him naked on or under him went through the roof and he was now even more curious if he flushed, if he needed to be freshly fed in order to flush, how it felt to be fed on, how that felt while the two of them were—

“Have the decency to at least pretend to listen to me, Bond,” Q snapped at him, flicking his nose to make sure that his attention was back on him – well, his words; James’ attention was always on him, even though Q wasn’t aware of it. He started at James for a moment before he broke out in a grin, showing off just how long and sharp his fangs were. It dawned on James that Q had a predatory smile that put all others to shame and he struggled to keep himself from shivering. “Or did you realize that you need more than a moment to process things?”

“I might need a lifetime,” James said honestly, licking his lips before forcing himself to look away from Q’s and finally giving in to his body’s need to crumble in on itself and taking the offered seat in front of the fireplace of Q’s Victorian-style house. “And speaking of a lifetime, I suppose the spots you have are actually liver spots?”

Teasing a truly aggravated Q, James realized, was not the best idea. The room grew cold instantly and James felt like the air had been sucked out as well, the heavy oak desk behind which Q was sitting suddenly splitting in half. “To mock your superior who always puts his job on the line for you when they are having a serious conversation with you is more than ill-advised.” James felt crushed by fear and desperation, his arms and legs trembling as Q fixed him with eyes that were now red. “I told you time and time again that trying to make light of a serious situation is never a good thing and I dislike it when you treat me as if I’m nothing more than a joke to you, a pawn that you get to do your bidding with a simple smile and a useless bottle of alcohol that ends up gathering dust in my cellar.” Frustration now mixed in with everything else James felt and he realized that Q was projecting his own feelings, forcing him to feel what he felt every time.

After Vesper, James was sure that the only people who could feel deep enough for him would be his parents. He never doubted that Q was his friend but after losing so many, he had become numb to losing one of them and his heart had stopped dropping so deep in his stomach whenever he was close to losing one, so feeling another’s anguish when it came to him floored him.

Was this what Q felt every time a bullet barely missed him? How did Q feel whenever he dropped off the face of the Earth and how could he continue to function normally? He could barely breathe and he couldn’t focus on anything else but the painful feelings of emptiness and helplessness.

“I tease only those closest to me,” James whispered, now clutching at his heart. “I don’t know how else to process things.”

Q sighed, his breath actually visible – did vampires breathe? Was Q doing the whole breath thing for James’ sake or out of habit? “I will not bother with you in the future if you insist on being this moronic. I may be immortal, but trying to care for your selfish—” Q stopped suddenly and the room felt normal again, grabbing James before he could crumple to the floor while gasping for air and waiting for his body to get used to sound, warmth and colour again.

Worried about what might have distracted an all-powerful being that he didn’t know existed up until half an hour ago and too woozy to even open his eyes without hurling the one bottle of alcohol he had for breakfast, lunch and dinner, James arduously tried to get Q to hide behind the chair he was on while also figuring out how the whole sitting up in a smooth move without fainting worked.

Q ignored his attempts and shrugged him off, James no longer caring about being graceful when he rushed to grab Q’s arm, saved from being nothing more than a pathetic lump on the ground by Q being back in the room in the blink of an eye while cooing at a box.

“Yes, my little children of the night, I know you’re hungry,” Q was saying in the sweetest voice imaginable and looking as cute and cuddly as he did the first day James laid eyes on him and that made him more terrifying in James’s eyes. “Daddy’s here now so your dinner is not far behind, don’t worry,” Q continued to coo at the box, chuckling when three little black kittens pushed their furry little faces against his.

James’ first thought was that Q now had to worry about a mortgage for a bloody lair as well as 5 cats. His second thought was ‘vampire kittens’ because why not and his third thought was that Q planned on turning him into their dinner – and while he didn’t worry that the three voids with teeth would suck him dry, he was disappointed that Q wasn't going to be the one who’d feed on him.

“Give me just a moment, Bond. I need to feed my darling children of the night.” James blinked and now Q was trying to juggle the box and three bottles of milk the only hint that he had moved at all being the way his wild hair was moving. “You lot have no idea how lucky you are that vampirism is not something that can be transmitted to animals. Now, where was I?”

Q’s fangs were peeking out from under his upper lip again and James wondered in just how much more trouble could he get into if he was honestly said that he was making him horny before remembering feeling what Q went through every time he was a careless arsehole, his desire disappearing completely so that he was nothing more than a rowdy double oh agent facing his legitimately and understandably upset Quartermaster. 

“Hopefully not giving up on me while ripping me a new one, sir.”


End file.
